A Secret Deviant

Here’s a paper I wrote for my social psychology class dealing with group dynamics and social influence. This is a reaction paper to an in-class exercise we did involving answering yes-or-no questions in a large circle. If the answer was yes, we took a step towards the center of the circle. We would step back and another question was asked. This was done over a period of three lectures. A Secret Deviant Comes to Terms…

The latest class exercise concerned group dynamics and the pressures that the group exhorts upon its members. The close-ended questions we wrote down forced us to answer definitively and immediately. I am certain that some of the more personal questions that were asked caused great discomfort for some students, myself included, and the pressure to hide the truth to appear better in the graces of others was high. Because the exercise was informal and unscientific in its execution, it is impossible to know for certain whether or not conformity was present when questions were asked. However, with the prospect of a professor and thirty-some students judging you because you didn’t graduate high school, social influence was clearly present.
As we’ve learned, the size of the group can make a difference in the level of pressure to conform. Because of the size of our class, I think there was a higher tendency to conform when we were asked questions that pertained to sexuality, drug use, or other, slightly more personal topics.
Take, for instance, the question, “How many here can swim?” Most of the students in the class eagerly stepped forward, with no hesitation. I know I did. Swimming is an essential part of life in the Midwest for many youngsters; my parents forced me to take swimming lessons. To not know how to swim can be humiliating when your elementary class goes on its annual end-of-the-year field trip to the local swimming pool and you have to explain to everyone why you didn’t bring your swim trunks. I was told that when one of my close friends revealed he didn’t know how to swim one afternoon during cross country practice, he was harassed by his teammates relentlessly. The fear of humiliation that can come from not knowing how to swim, something seen as so trivial and easy to do by so many people, could have been discomforting enough to drive some people to conform during our class exercise.
I remember feeling pressured to conform to the majority of the responses when the question “Do you smoke?” was asked. I was hesitant to step into the circle right away, reluctant to admit to a vice that, to some, could show I am insecure. As the milli-seconds ticked and no one stepped forward, my heart started to pound a little faster, my face felt a little warmer and I became moderately anxious.  Your presence as a professor, I’m sure, helped cause some of my anxiety as well. After noticing Jorge and a couple others step in, my anxiety began to fade away. I realized I wasn’t the only smoker in the room.
I was asked that question once in class by my high school psychology teacher before I turned eighteen. I remember feeling the same physiological responses, but because I wasn’t eighteen and I had a “good kid” reputation to maintain, or front stage, I wasn’t able to be honest with myself, or my back stage, and remained discomforted afterward. This was a case of cognitive dissonance for me. I wanted to tell the truth for myself but doing so would have resulted in embarrassment and possible legal consequences for smoking underage.
Because it is now legal for me to smoke and your classroom has very open-minded and comforting vibe to it, I was able to be honest with the class and, most importantly, myself when asked the question again. Although I experienced some heightened anxiety because of my past experiences as a secret deviant, Jorge and the others were able to diffuse it once we had unconsciously created an ingroup and I displayed some ingroup favoritism. From informal observation, I’ve noticed smokers tend to stick together, perhaps due to the amount of discrimination we sometimes feel from non-smokers. I remember thinking to myself after the next question, “I wonder if Jorge would like to smoke a cigarette with me after class.” However, had no one stepped in, I am doubtful I could have alone.
Our ingroup/outgroup exercise showed me that even the simplest of questions can cause great cognitive dissonance for some. Our ability to maintain a front stage, while remaining true to our back stage, is tested. Should we fail in this I/me challenge or if the question brings back memories of a traumatic experience, we become distraught and anxious. The chances of us conforming to rest of the group are increased, to reduce the risk of humiliation, when we feel this cognitive dissonance around our peers as well as our tendency to favor those who share the same activities as we do.